Classic Onion: 48-Hour Internet Outage Plunges Nation Into Productivity

Shortly after office workers found their web, e-mail, and instant-messaging capabilities disabled, reports of torrential productivity began to reach corporate offices nationwide.

“My first thought was ‘My God, this has to be some kind of mistake,’” said Prudential Insurance executive vice-president Shane Mullins of San Francisco. “My e-mail wasn’t working. Nerve.com wasn’t working. I eventually found out that the company web site wasn’t working, either. But by that time, my inbox was filling up like you wouldn’t believe.”

“My actual physical inbox,” Mullins added. “It’s this gray plastic thing on my desktop—the top of the desk I sit at.”

Kind of funny how this pretty accurately describes using Freedom. Now I’ve got to stop reading The Onion and get back to my dissertation.